Ladies PLEASE HELP MILTARY MAN NEEDS ADVICE?

Alright here it goes: I am currently serveing on my second tour in Iraq. And I am married. I love my wife. But for lack of better words, she's self absorbed. Her sister is staying with her while I'm gone and while I've been away, they went got dressed up, put on make up and low cut tops and went out to a bar till 3am. I told her I didn't like it. (in the nicest way possible) while still coming across pretty clear. Well a month goes by and she's done it again. Only this time she doesn't tell me about it. I've caught her lying about how much money she's spending while I'm gone (although I haven't let her know), she promised to send me a letter a week while I'm gone (I've gotten 1 in the five months I've been gone so far) she doesn't e-mail me, she'll pick up the phone when I call. But she just acts like everything is hunk dory. I'm aat a loss as to how to react. I want to react, but I know if I just get pissed off she will feel attacked and just stop listening. And probably do it again. I've tried telling her how I feel about it. But that didn't even phaze her. What do I do? From 12,000 miles away?Ladies PLEASE HELP MILTARY MAN NEEDS ADVICE?
Being a military wife, I've seen this stuff happen plenty of times. A wife should be somebody you are able to trust, not someone who lies to you about what they are doing, how much money they are spending, etc. As your wife, she should be doing things like writing you letters, and if she has only written you one in five months then there is something wrong. Honestly from what I've seen of military wives, the ones that go out and get all dressed up are usually the ones that cheat on their husbands. Don't get me wrong, there are some who don't, but most of the time if they are wearing low cut shirts getting all dressed up, and going out with another girl, that's usually the case. It's fine if she goes out once every couple of months just to loosen up, but she should be wearing jeans and a T-shirt, not a low cut shirt.





This is what you need to do. Tell your wife that you are in a very uncomfortable position. Tell her that it's hurting you a lot. Be upfront and honest with her. Give her an ultimatum. Tell her that if she keeps things going like this, you won't be able to trust her anymore. With out trust, you won't be able to be married to her. Also bring up the money issue. Tell her that you are concerned, as would any husband be. Be calm about everything and don't yell. Just make sure she knows how serious about it you are and then maybe she'll straighten up her act.





Being a wife to somebody in the military is hard at times, so you have to remember that. But what you need to remember most is that she should be supporting you as much as she possibly can. She shouldn't be doing things all the time that are making you upset and stressed out while you are in iraq. That's very self centered and she is not thinking in your best interest at all. In my opinion tell her to be honest and to stop doing what she's doing or you'll leave her. A wife should be somebody who cares what you have to say, not somebody who blows off everything you are saying like it's not a big deal when it really is to you.





Think about yourself and what you really deserve. Good luck with everything, don't let her walk all over you.Ladies PLEASE HELP MILTARY MAN NEEDS ADVICE?
Thank you for serving our country!





Put only what she needs to get by in the joint account. Put the rest in a savings account she doesn't have access to. Suggest she get a part-time job to pay for her extras.





You guys need to have a serious talk, but it probably wont do any good until you get home.
It makes me so mad to hear stuff like that women that have good men and do them wrong. Honistly you deserve better you should leave her if she cannot respect you. ALL kinds of ppl go to the bar i dont htink that is somewhere where you should go if you are married sorry
Well...she sure shows her TRUE colors. You have a right to get mad~!


She is out messing around on you. Its plain as day.





Pull the money from her. She is a dog to do this to you while you are serving our country.


I am proud of you honey. I am sorry.


Big hugs
Sex can be one of the most enjoyable parts of your life. It strengthens relationships and adds excitement. If a relaxing moment turns into the right moment, will you be ready? You can be with CIALIS!





Buy online at accessrx.com
It brakes my heart to read this. Shame on her, here you are, in Iraq and I'm sure you are scared, lonely, home sick and she dose not care. I would leave her ***.
To quote Tom Arnolds character in the movie True Lies...


';What did you expect? She's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there.';
tell her the future will be affected if she spends too much and please be careful....she is bored....reassure her you love her as much as possible...
:)
i would like to first say.....thankyou ...........thankyou for serving our country. i am an ex-military dependant. my ex cheated on me all the time..............this is neiter here or there...........your situation seems diff. When a woman dresses up and does not act out the part from her heart as being your significant other...............she is up to something. it was hard for me to see my man go for so long. He too, went to saudi and i was raising our 2 dds basically alone. i was tempted to do the same as your wife, the lonliness and fear gets deep. this is NOT your fault, she made a choice in being your wife and your job is to serve and to protect. since , i do not know your ages it makes it hard to give a precise answer to your problem...........a woman under 30 usually does not know what she wants or what she has until it is too late. you seem sincer and are really worried about your relationship. if she is making bad decisions and leading you on.............than let her go. there are woman(such as me) that respect and love a man that is willing to go beyond measures to serve both land and family. If she cannot honor your feelings as a active partner.......soul mate than let her go. ........you deserve to recieve letters and support. i used to belong to the Hearts-apart-program ..........you are not alone in this.....many men and woman while away from the home front have lost what they thought they had. Love is out there.........good luck.....be safe ...........our country needs you........shelly
First off I want to thank you for your time spent serving our country.





Now, as for the wife, sometimes military wives get a bit crazy when the husband is gone to help numb the pain of their absence, but there are others that do it simply because they cannot be faithful and use the husbands absence as an excuse to do what they would do anyway.


Being that you are so far from her, you are going to worry more than usual, but then again, if you asked her nicely not to do this and she still does, I would say she doesn't respect you in the slightest, which is sad. My husband served in the Navy and was gone a lot and believe me, it would have been easy to do what your wife is doing, but I didn't out of love and respect for my husband.





My suggestion would be to seriously wait until you are back home and can sit and talk with her face to face and possibly even get some counceling. You could ask the ombudsman to help get you two through this while you are gone.





I really hope all works out with you. I hate seeing a man putting his life on the line for his country while his wife is out ';painting the town';. Good luck to you in the future. :)
hey bro im not a female but i feel your pain you have to get a separate account and only shoot her what is needed to live light lights water and food if you are out here fighting and in the suck and she thinks that she can get a free pass off you then you have to let her know that its not all good. if you don't check her she will feel that it is ok for her to do as she pleases. and if you don't have kids then there is no reason for her sister to be there cause right now you are serving as a cash cow and they balling at your expense. im sure you love your old lady so i wont say anything foul or tell you to dx her. but on the real don't let her make you out to be her b%%ch while you are out here defending the free world. don't kill her but show her 1000000 miles.away that you are still man of the house. just think about it as a soldier if you cut of the enemies supply they fail. so if you cut off her dough supply then she will either humble up or leave you and then that's when you see what your marriage is really worth. hate to hear this happening to you but you are a soldier ruck up you will be aight bro.
She is lonely too. How she is handling may not be the way you want her to, but there is not much you can do about it.





The bigger problem seems to be that she does not even contact you. I would be concerned that she is not in love with you. Why don't you talk to your Chaplain there, and have him contact your wife. Perhaps he can get clarity out of the situation. that is how my sister and her husband handled it when he was stationed in Spain.