since a couple of weeks ive been talking to a guy who is in the marines.he is stationed in california.ive kinda fallen head over heels for him and from what i can tell he feels the same.hes coming back to my his hometown (we both live in the same city) in about 3 weeks.we made plans that we will see each other. but i do know that he is going to afghanistan for seven months next year. im just afraid that im falling in love with him and what would i do if we were in a relationship and he would get deployed ?
any advice for me?how often would we have contact? how do you guys do it who have boyfriend/husband oversees in the military?Dating a military man?some advice?
Take these things into consideration before getting too involved!
Easy question! NextDating a military man?some advice?
damn. honestly id advise u to try and not fall too deeply in love with him cz he might die, especially afganistan, + if he comes back, trust me its gonna be hard 2 live a normal life with a military guy. he might be too controling, strict etc... but thats just tha negative side of it. if you already love him alot then u can give it a chance.
Military personnel have a very transient lifestyle and to maintain a relationship is not easy for either party. If you want a guy to be around and available all the time then a military man is not for you and you should be honest with him about it.
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlm鈥?/a>
That forum ^^ can help you any questions. A lot of them have been married for 2 years or more and have been in similar situations. They will be able to support you and get your questions answered better than yahoo.
Good luck!
it could turn out good you never know and what would it hurt it would help him to have a easyer time over there but it up to you and how you feel
awww.. his a marine
you should be proud of him
oh anyways
how often would we have contact?
its all where his stationed
may not have internet ....may have internet
Don't do it. Military dudes are dicks who have nothing better to do with their lives than start trouble, and he'll beat you up.
day by day.
its hard
but if its worth it,
go for it
they like to know who their fighting for %26lt;3
If he is an enlisted soldier do you want to live in poverty your whole life?
Give him lots of felash, he's serving our country!!!!
Hope for the best, that's all I can say.
run away!!!!!!! he will cheat and be abussive!
ps. dont cheat
i think you have to consider first is your feelings.. if you like then go, if not.. dont have date.. its simple right??
I had a very similar situation.
I went to highschool with this guy (who is now my husband) and he's in the Army. He was overseas before we started dating and just happened to write me on myspace and ask me on a date when he was on leave. We went on that one date and have been together ever since (He's still stationed in New York and I live here in Alabama)
I am incredibly lucky that my husband won't have to go back overseas (and will be completely out of the Army in about 8 months)
I can't imagine how hard it would be if he had to go back overseas.
I was the same way you were, I was so afraid to fall in love with my now husband because I knew how bad it would hurt both of us if he had to go back overseas (him being 1000 miles away is hard enough!)
But honestly, there's no way I could have stopped myself from falling in love with him even if I tried (and you can't either).
The way I see it, I would rather have him (and be hurt by the distance..ect) than to be hurting because I didn't have him at all.
You would most likely have very little contact with him when he's overseas.
My advice for you would be to meet him in person (like you planned) and just come straight out and ask him how he feels about you and whether or not he'd like to continue the relationship while he's overseas, or if he's willing to wait until he gets back to start an actual ';relationship';.
Good Luck. I feel for you. I know how it is, and believe me it is no fun sometimes, but if you love each other enough, then you can definately make it through 7 months of him being overseas.
Well having lived in a navy town most of my life, and then serving myself and being stationed overseas i can safely say. that you need to find out a couple things about himself, yourself and other things.
for one thing. a military lifstyle for enlisted families ( i say families in reguards to relationships) are usualy best fitted with people who are ok with the term ';absense makes the heart grow fonder'; the average term for an overseas deployment such as the middle east can be anywhere from a year.. yes a year. to several years depending on his job, he can take leave depending on the situation of his command, and how many days of leave he has acrued. youd need to ask him about that stuff.
the question you really need to ask yourself is, can you wait for him if/when he leaves. theres more than a couple horror stories ive heard in my time in the service of a fellow shipmate having his GF/wife etc writting him a letter or simply sending him a notice saying ';ive emptied our bank account, sign this divorce paper and youll be rid of me cause im with someone else now spending your paycheck';
Not saying youd do that in any way, but those types of people never got into the relationship with the information and understanding that they would be sepperated from their significant other for an extended period of time, they got bored, or they got lonely, and some started to hate their husbands for being gone so long as if it was somehow his fault they wouldnt ship him home for some family time.
adding to this. alot of younger military end up getting married or engaged right out of bootcamp or job school aka A-school, their young, confident and all in all, not very smart when it comes to thinking of the future in these things. and a majority of these marrages end up trashed.
I dont write this stuff to scare you, but its important you think about these things, i suggest talking to a couple of the VETERAN marines wives in the area and find out these things, show them this letter if need be to put them on the same page as you are feeling wise.
i say veteran military wives because they have been there, and know how hard it can be sometimes, if one of them says ';oh its been great, have some kids to keep you company'; or something.. ignore that one and find another one.
I can safely say that with my significant other, we found eachother after i had been deployed and could relate what kinds of things would happen person to person, and she understood this from the start, shes the type that can go for a while without me, shes strong and self reliant like a good military wife needs to be sometimes. all in all the relationship hasnt gone badly. although sometimes it can be hard with a phonecall in your 15th month abroad whispering ';i miss you';
Ask around and find these things out, ask him also, his MGS or whomever is in charge of his division/platoon etc if you can, and THEIR wifes also. this is a really tight nit group of people and im sure they will be willing to talk to you about all the aspects of this.
i am a Marine and personally i don't like long distance relationships because i've had too many women lie to me. About your question, i haven't been deployed yet but i don't think you'll be able to talk over the telephone but i do know that they still receive e-mails so you'll be able to talk through that. Not sure how often he'll be able to check it; sorry i can't be more help.
also you peoplel who say that he'll abuse her are retarded, and if you're going by movies that you seen then your even more retarded, if you're going by experience then you deserved it for being retarded. From what i've seen most of us are nice, we are just a bit whore-ish.
Its tough when their deployed but not as tough as it used to be thanks to modern technology. They are still able to keep in contact through computers and such you probably wouldn't be able to talk to him everyday but they try to make it easier on them especially those with wives and children back home. If you really care for him im sure you can make it through. But you also have to know that if you get involved with someone in the military you will have to deal with this same situation more then once. If this is something you think you can endure for years or even his whole career then it may be worth it. It really depends on how much you care about him and how much your willing to go through to be with him. Being the wife of a military man is hard especially if you are not used to moving around.
