I notice that he wants sex but he will just lay there like he wants me to do all the work so I get that he wants me to do more work.
What can I do to give him what he wants?I need a man's advice on this!! Mature answers only?
I think what he's trying to say is that he wants you to come on to him. While many women are cultivated that the man should make the first move, it can lead to confusion between your wanting him to take control vs. you letting him have sex with you. Sounds like he just wants reassurance that you want it from him as much as he does from you (hence the ';just lying there like he wants you to do the work'; -- he's giving you the opportunity to take control and do what you want as well).
As for how to give him what he wants -- surprise him by being the initiator sometimes.I need a man's advice on this!! Mature answers only?
This is easy. I like my girlfriend to take innitiative sometimes too.
Just don't say anything to him. Out of the blue start taking his clothes off. Push him down on the bed or couch. Position yourself over him, like you're demanding oral from him. He'll understand and he'll do it.
Then ride him cowgirl, from the top.
He probably won't want to do this everytime. But it's fun once in a while to just let the girl take over and innitiate.
I was in the same boat you're in right now. You like the man to be the initiator. But he wants you to initiate as well. What you need to do is surprise him. Before he comes home, wear a nice teddy, have candles lit up, play nice music, and be the initiator in all areas. Let him lay back and you take control. That's what he wants. Good luck! E-mail me and I'll be more specific. :)
Take it slow. Do not hurry to his orgasm. Work to your own orgasm. Because usually men orgasm quicker than women. Talk to him sexually before undressing and while undressing while in bed or getting to it.
Touch him during foreplay on his chest, kiss him on his neck and chest, in other words dont go directly to his genitals and casually be resistant to him going straight for your genitilia.
Talk to him about how he would feel if you touched him in different ways, or if he could touch you in different ways. Ask him if he enjoys watching you in the light, as opposed to turning the lights off.
Stimulate him with good healthy (not perverse or evil) sexual conversation. Show him your breasts and your behind while standing naked in front of him. See if he gets visually delighted. Use good sexual talk to arouse him. Use Touch to stimulate his skin and send messages to his brain.
I am sure you guys will enjoy this experience. Also, use prayer to seek help from God to make your husband happy. There is no thought or feeling of the heart that is hidden from Him.
push him back, and do all the work.
scream and make noise, if you like it.
don't bite, it's a real turn off, unless he likes that, some people rarely do like it, most don't.
INTERESTING QUESTION!
%26gt;%26gt; I like the man to take control that is just the way I am%26lt;%26lt;
And you are NOT ALONE. Most ';MEN'; would prefer to take control too, more than even THEY would admit to themselves actually . . . .
Sexual control from a female is a delicate issue, because whether anyone TALKS about it , or admits it (or not) . . . . a woman can easily cross a line whereby the man feels he is ';threatened';. When a woman usually DOES NOT PREFER to have control, and a man SAYS he would prefer if she took it more often . . . this will feel UNNATURAL to her. . . . and no matter how hard she TRIES, it is not actually SINCERE.
That's when it becomes a problem.
Sex is one of the ONLY things that humans still do NATURALLY. They think, act and have sex based on what NATURALLY turns them on . . . even if OTHERS might think its ';wierd'; or ';kinky'; or way over the top.
When it comes to SEX . . . .it often pays NOT to ask so many questions.
The fact that HE IS UNCOMFORTABLE is the issue. It's NOT what YOU are doing . . . or not doing. Because YOU have laready said you are WILLING. But if he is UNABLE to communicate it to you, then that is problem YOU should not assume the responsibility of fixing.
MANY men are actually ';AFRAID'; of telling a woman (lover) REALLY what they want. . . . because they have it in their heads that this can ';scare women off'; . . . .but that only leads to a REPRESSED sex life.
Where's the fun in that??
- SAY WHAT YOU WANT
- GET WHAT YOU WANT
- IF YOU STILL DON'T GET IT . . .
- DONT'T BLAME ANYONE FOR IT
- GET IT SOMEWHERE ELSE
- OR YOUR SEX LIFE WILL BE REPRESSED.
. . . and REPRESSED SEX LIVES OFTEN LEAD TO CHEATING. Even though CHEATING IS NOT THE ANSWER.
%26gt;%26gt; I notice that he wants sex but he will just lay there like he wants me to do all the work. %26lt;%26lt;
Men (even the strong / controlling ones) don't ALWAYS want to be the ';working'; active participant. Sometimes they want to lay back with their arms folded behind their heads and watch their woman ';go to town'; on them.
If he occaisonally wants you to do all the work . . . . and you are able and WILLING . . . . then DO ALL THE WORK and FORGET about your OWN satisfaction and concenrate ONLY ON HIS.
Sex doesn't always have to be MUTUAL all the time. Alot of people think it SHOULD be. It can be VERY healthy to be TOTALLY SELFISH one day . . . and totally GENEROUS the next. . . . because the odds that BOTH people need EXACTLY THE SAME THING - at EXACTLY THE SAME TIME - are actually not that common.
%26gt;%26gt; What can I do to give him what he wants?%26lt;%26lt;
Well until he tells you what that IS . . . it looks like he DESERVES not to get it. Noone HERE can tell you ';what HE wants'; so all advice is useless.
What you CAN DO . . . is not beat yourself up about it, because THIS is not YOUR problem to fix.
';People who dont SAY what they want,
Deserve not to GET what they want.';
- Madonna
:)
is he a guy you love ? or a person who services you like a gigolo ? well you dont like that rite ? see love is for both, he is showing the love by sex to you and doing it all and anything to keep you on your toes,,,,,, dont you think men what that too ? i mean i would hate it if i was the one who intiates sex all the time, it would make me feel like im a perv who is just there for the sex, show him that you love him and you want him as much as he wants you,,,,do it now before some other women who knows how to get a men excited in bed do it
If you can't get a straight answer out of him, just try SOMETHING. Throw on some lingerie and come on strong. Try to seduce him in a public place. Get him drunk and be a tease. Drag him to a sex shop. Anything. At least if you make a move, if it's the wrong move, you have a basis to begin a dialog on the subject of what he really wants.
Hint: Most guys open up more after a few drinks.
try being more agressive. take him dont waight for him to want it. shoots!
Surprise him, when he get home from work, greet him in next to nothing and pull him to the first convienient place and start in...he'll follow your lead, and you will both enjoy it.
Buy a Dildo and do yourself in front of him. If you have to do all the work then you might as well ';do all the work.'; Maybe that will teach him to work on you for once. Just do it, do it.
Take control!
Isn't there something you have always wanted to try but have been afraid to ask for.
Attack him!
Good luck!
Try roleplaying.
Seriously, try surprising him by playing ';dress-up'; (if you know what I'm getting at...) then pretend you two are strangers just meeting for the first time.
That should get him out of his rut and get him a little more excited. It just might be what you need.
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