My girlfriend of a year and a half and I have been arguing non stop. I'll give her side of the story first. (and I will be fair!!) Her main complaint with me is that I'm not affectionate enough and that I treat her like a friend. She says I am self-centered and complain too much. I see why she says I am not affectionate enough but, I'll get to that in a bit. As far as teating her like a friend, I have to wholly disagree. (for obvious reasons) The self-centered thing baffles me but, I can see why she says I complain a lot. I will try to explain further my situation.
I am in my mid twenties and she is twenty-three, if that matters. About eight months ago, her parents gave her the opportunity to quit her job and go to college full time. In addition, they give her 1K dollars a month spending money. Keep in mind that she pays no bills, her father pays her credit card for her. I know this because she told me. I have no problem with any of these things and I fully support her decision to stop working in order to finish school. We have a plan to move in together eventually and having a degree and a better job will certainly help, no? The school we attend is meant for people who work full time. It isn't online but, you meet with your teachers only once a month to hand in work. It's individual study. Currently, I am working full time and attending school part time. We hang out 4-5 times a week and yes, most of the time I am very tired. I deal with stress everyday at my job, with bills (including credit cards which I am obsessed with paying off so when we move in together we have no extra debt), school and just life in general. This could be a reason I seem detached... I'm just plain exhausted but, I do make the effort. I take her out whenever I have money, I go see movies that she wants to see, watch shows she wants to watch and do the little things like getting her a snack or making her tea. I do all of these things because I WANT to, not because I feel like I have to.
As far as complaining goes, yeah I complain about work. I'm currently looking for new, better paying jobs. (so I can support us when we move in together) I've been working at a law office for almost seven years and I am a paralegal. I get frustrated and I look to my girlfriend for comfort... is that complaining? I try to express it in a humorous way but I guess it doesn't work. I imagine that if she had a job and things of that nature, she would complain just as much if not more. Also, I find that any good news (such as an interview at a new job, etc.) quickly turns into worry when I tell her about it. (i.e. ';you wont quit this job before you get another one';, etc.) There is simply no support or excitement, just worrysome nagging. I'm studying for various state-employment tests as well. (LOTS of studying in my life) So every waking second I have to be ';reminded'; to study or, make phone calls to my professors. I'm not trying to sound angry but, did I not make it this far before she came along? I appreciate that she wants to be involved but, her constant (sometimes several times a day, if not more) ';reminders'; borderline harrassment and simply wear me down to the bone. So on top of my normal everyday stresses, I have these constant nags about every little thing and it really drains me. REALLY.
Basically, everything I do has her in mind yet, she seems to miss that. I do make the effort to improve based on her complaints about me and it never seems to be enough. Tuesday was our sixteen month anniversary (not that big a deal.. odd number) so, I suppose we could have made dinner together or gone to a movie; no big deal. But instead, she decides not to hang out. When she asked if I'd be mad I said, ';would you be mad?'; She said yes. Needless to say, I have been under the weather so we decided not to hang out. The next day she said I neglect our anniversarys. Honestly, am I missing something? Why am I so self centered? Am I? Can someone for the love of God help me? lol I feel like I am going to blow up at her, and I have NEVER yelled at her. Is she dense? Am I crazy? Man needs Woman's advice. (no men please)?
Somebody is definitely self centered here and I'll tell ya, it isn't you. Sounds like you've really got your hands full. I feel bad for you. I don't think this woman will ever be satisfied. I think she'll just keep finding things to stress you about. I don't think she realizes or cares how good of a man you are. It seems to me she is spoiled rotten and is making sure that you will be able to afford her when you two move together. This woman is 23 years old, she needs to start acting like it. It just seems to me that she is immature and too high maintenance. She will be one tough chick to keep happy. If you think she's nagging you now, wait till you have kids and a mortgage. You've gotta decide if she is worth it to you. I wish you the best of luck!Man needs Woman's advice. (no men please)?
ITS DOUNDS LIKE ALL YOUS NEED IS A BREAK/SPACE...(NOT BREAK UP) JUST SUM TIME TO CHILL
sorry but get out before you cant,save yourself and your mind and soul.
can you shorten it a bit? i cba reading but my advise is -
Lifes too short! =]
Good luck with it xx
Even from reading only half of your story it clearly sounds to me that you two are just too different from each other. Whether it be the way you view each other or just the ways you each do things differently. I suggest you just part ways and start anew.....
shes not helping u one bit i would ditch her and move on i know thats harsh but its the only way 2 get rid of her. and if u like her and really want to move in with her then tell her how u REALLY feel.
