Tuesday, November 22, 2011

A good friend of mine caught his girlfriend in bed with another man. Looking for advice.?

After 4 months of what was supposed to be a monogamous arrangement. He caught his girlfriend in bed with another man, whom he knew. She claims she was drunk but takes full responsibility for her actions. He believes this may have been going on for some time, as he found that they had a lunch date together a month prior to being caught. My friend says he loves her, but the trust is no longer there. Is there hope here. She is heartbroken over the mistake. Anyway, I told what good advice is available here, so he told me to give it a try. I know she is trying hard to reconnect this relationship, but he appears distant and suspicious.A good friend of mine caught his girlfriend in bed with another man. Looking for advice.?
Let me guess - He's a nice guy that financialy spoils this girl and the guy she was boinking is a bad boy with a motorcycle, muscles, tattoos and no job?A good friend of mine caught his girlfriend in bed with another man. Looking for advice.?
Hi...


i can understand ur frnd's prob,its very difficult to tolret ur beloved ones wid sumone else....


%26amp; as u said No trust anymore....then there shud not b any relationship anymore....bcoz for any relation to b carried out trust is most important.....


Its hard to forget ur love....but he shud try....nothing is IMpossbile....bcoz I+M+Possible....tell him to remember this....


Good luck....
HE should be asking the question.





You oughta stay out of this one - this is for him and her to work out and is none of your business.
Personally I'd break up with her, but if I really loved this girl, I'd consider giving her another chance. That's a tough call especially when it's not you in that position.





I agree that without trust though, the relationship is going to be hard to save.
For any relationship to prosper, it has to be based on trust.


Since his GF is taking full responsibility for her actions, then might as well leave it at that.





He has to get out of that relationship since it has been tainted with dishonesty. Although his GF is working hard to reconnect with him, there will always be doubts on her integrity. She cannot be trusted again.





If in the future, if their paths cross again, then he might consider it. But for now, the best will be to end it.
You aint nothing without Trust.
He needs to move on if he can't get over it, and why should he? She betrayed him!
The first answer by Eric is the smart move. If you get involved and anything goes worng, you will be the scapegoat. Listen but offer no advise.
it will take a VERY long time for him to gain her trust back, if ever at all. if they continue the relationship, he'll always be suspicious of what she's doing. eventually, she'll get fed up of him being that way, even though it's her fault. it may not be a good idea for them to go on, especially if she's cheating on him only 4 months into the relationship. if she's bored this early on, it's best to just end it now.
You can't have a relationship without trust, its over.
Tell him to break it off, With love, comes trust and if theres no trust, i dont think there will be love. Yeah he might say he loves her but in his heart hes very sad and he needs time. Seeing your girl/boy friend in bed with someone else is a very sad thing, Tell him that she isnt trustworthy and he should break it off.


good luck hope this works-
If there is no trust then the relationship will always be hard. He may always wonder what she is doingwhen she is not with him. She will not be able to have male friends without him becoming paraniod. They need to sit down together and talk and see if they are both able to overcome this completely and set it in the past without bringing it up again. If the answer is no then they may need to go their seperate ways.
I think their r/s is very short and she was with other person be for him for one or another reason it's normal that she may not brake her r/s entirely it takes time for her to do that. So he is expected to be patient in order to help her to withdraw herself from her previous relation other ways she will not. When he do this he should believe the fact and should be genuine.
your friend should leave that gal or he should ask her weather she is really want him in his life .because once doubt comes suspician comes there is no hope for love because relationship is based on trust
My boyfriend cheated on me once in what I though was the first time and got another girl pregnant I took him back took in his baby as my own then a few months later he got a new job and while I was snowed in at work he brought another girl to our house and slept with her in our bed . Then when I threw him out I found out he cheated on me like 15 times in a little over two years. In my experience I've always found once a cheated always a cheater not just in my cases but in lots of other peoples your friend is right to feel the way he feels. He deserves better then that everyone does. She doesn't feel heartbroken about doing it she feels heartbroken about getting caught. If she was that worried about hurting your friend what was she doing at lunch and in bed in the first place.
Tell him to go on Yahoo Q and A and ask for advices? I believe he can type simple question in english, right?
The relationship is over and unless your friend is lovin' misery - he should move on. Being drunk is ';no excuse'; for having sex with other people.
tell him to move on be thankful he found out now instead of latter on in the relationship let her go if she did that then she is not mature enough for a relationship do not try again it is just wasted time in his life that he could have found the right women
Trust is a delicate thing. If she's serious about stopping this nonsense, it all depends on whether he wants to look beyond this and move on. If he does, he must work very hard in rebuilding the trust. She, of course, must do her part to help him. It won't be easy, but it can be done.
She will cheat again. Almost certain. She is a liar and probably is a little emotionally detached. Here is the problem, my friend. If you tell him that, it won't do no good. He's addicted to the chaos she's emmitting. If she feels you are a threat to the relationship (by trying to help him) she will make him choose. Her or you. Thats the problem. He'll probably take her side and distance himself from you. So you could leave it alone OR you can tell him to get rid of her. She's no good. Want proof? Tell him to dump her, and when he kicks your friendship to the curb and is no longer talking to you, she's free game. I guarentee she'll give it up to you. And he'll hate you for it. But he'll forgive her. She's bad news.
If one is reluctant and one is willing to try the relationship again, there is nothing wrong with trying a professional counselor who has seen this a lot of times and may have easy solutions to some of the problems.





It can't hurt; It might help.





At least there may be better ground rules set so that everyone knows they are in concrete - not just being guessed at as being the rules by both parties.





Each party can still walk away from it - just understanding each other's differences a little better, and knowing what not to do in the next relationship.

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